church

on wednesday evenings, i attend what my old church calls a cell group meeting. if you are not familiar with this term, i'll try to BRIEFLY describe it to you.

Basically, it's like a small group--we get together and sometimes we study the word, or we gather around each other in prayer, or sometimes, we do some fun stuff to help us get through the week. the term "cell group" comes from the fact that the church is the body of Christ; each of these smaller meetings throughout the week is called cell because a cell is a smaller part of the body.

the thing i miss most about my old church is the emphasis on experiencing church like we read about in the new testament. when Jacob and i got married, i made the transition into his church. partly because i didn't want to fight about it, but mainly because he was already so involved; much more than i was in my old church.

less than a year of attending this church, i already regret that decision. first of all, it is a small church. coming from a big church, i really didn't think that it would be different. but, it really is. the dynamics of a small church are very different than that of a big church.

i'll give an example:

i had heard that someone was talking about me behind my back about things that weren't very...well...nice. and this person knew nothing of what they were saying. i know this because i don't particularly talk to them....ever. especially about the topic at hand.

the next morning, i went to someone i trusted, feeling hurt and needing some affirmation, BADLY. this person thought i was badmouthing, talking negatively, spreading gossip about this person, and basically did an "about-face." this just added to the hurt and insecurity i was already feeling.

now, the difference is here: i know this person didn't mean to cause hurt, but at my old church, the ladies that i commune with, they would KNOW that i wasn't trying to badmouth or spread negativity or gossip about someone....they would know that i was hurting.

in fact, they did. this past wednesday evening, they asked me how i was doing in the transition from one church to another....i explained the situation without any names, to be on the safe side, and just explained how hurt i was. they were the church to me.

they didn't judge me.

they didn't assume bad things about me, just because of what i was saying...

and nor did they talk to me like it was MY fault.

these are all things that i have felt non-stop since attending my husbands church.

instead, they gathered around me, and prayed for me and these relationships. they even said, "how ridiculous! of course you were hurting!"

it was such a blessing...and i will never forget it. it is something that i pray i can take to my current church and spread.