oh the joys!

Christmas has come and gone...

now on to the new year...

i don't think the new year will be as fun and exciting as last year. i work the entire week, opening both new years eve and new years day. not too fun.

the most exciting part of the next few weeks: i'm taking vacation time off of work!

My hopes for this time:

a) to get registered at target and walmart for baby stuff

b) to get the office cleaned out to make room for baby and all the baby stuff

c) to relax and de-stress after the holidays.

I have been told from some family members that I am WAY too big, and that i should ask my doctor to check for twins.

at my appointment this morning, i asked my doctor. he said, "People should just keep their mouths shut. You're perfectly normal size and measurement for the ONE baby that is in there!"

i know i shouldn't let it get to me...but when i already feel fat and gross and disgusting...the LAST thing i want to hear from people who supposedly love me is that i'm huge.

i really love being pregnant, but there is another situation that is ruining it for me:

i've had the same family members corner me in the kitchen on CHRISTMAS day...

to interrogate me about baby names.

We haven't come to any conclusions...we're trying to find SOME that we like and the meanings are something that will edify our son to be a man of God and someone that will help build the Kingdom of God.

yet...these family members cornered me and began asking me about what names we've chosen. when i explained that we haven't had any yet, they were saying, "what are they?"

"i just said, we haven't picked any out! we just started talking about it this week and seriously looking at BOY names this week!"

"ok...well...please just run them by us...we want to help you with...ya know...names and nicknames.."

"why?"

"we just don't want you to pick anything out that's too gay!"

"Gay?! like what?"

"like evan, or Owen, or..."

"HOLD up. Owen is a family name on my grandmothers side...that's not 'too gay!'"

now...i realize that yes...again, i may be taking this too personally...

but if these SAME people don't TRUST me or my husband to name our child something appropriate, then are they going to trust us to raise our child?

Doubt it.

and i'm not one to go to family functions only to be ridiculed for how i raise my children!

if this keeps up, i can't imagine myself even wanting to be with this family during get togethers!

i'm not one to push away advice, but if it's given with prejudice, i dismiss it almost immediately. and the only reason i say "almost" is that i have to remind myself every time that they mean well and that Godly advice can come in all forms...

i say "with prejudice" because these family members are assuming this is the first time i've ever cared for a child!

now...i admit, a boy is intimidating. but when my niece was born, i was there nearly every day, helping change her diaper...feed a bottle (when my sister was unable to breastfeed)...burp the baby...rock her to sleep. there was even a little joke that my mom made that if my sister had problems, give her to me, and i'll get her to sleep.

and i understand boys are different. i've changed my nephews diapers...helped him as much as i could, but with work and school wasn't able to be there QUITE as much. i regret that, b/c as it seems, i'm not as close with my nephew as i would like to be, but, it happens. i can only change the future.

plus...i believe God created me to be a mother. i never would have thought this before i was married. yet, i started to see in myself a nurturing, motherly side of myself that i never saw in myself before i got married. and since getting pregnant, it has increased 10 fold. i can not imagine myself without children now, and am MOVED beyond hormones for children other than my own!

for these family members to assume something about me is beyond hurtful. i know i'm currently more sensitive because of the hormones, but, it is hurtful that they don't trust me to name my own child let alone raise him!

and it is beyond hurtful that they would feel the need to tell me they don't trust me. i can handle gossip behind my back...i've been taking it since i could remember. whatever.

but...i am an adult...right? and jacob....he too, is an adult....right?

i mean...we got married. we own our own cars. we have our own place. we pay our bills; we have money in our account; we have some in savings...

and we don't ask a whole lot from our parents...

we don't ask them for money...or to take care of situations for us....

in fact, we do it for them!

we give our parents money!

we take care of our parents situations FOR THEM!

so in that way, aren't we more mature than they are?

so, let me get this straight.

i need to get approval from people who can barely make their own payments on their own purchases, who can barely stay faithful to their own families, because i'm incapable of making the decisions for myself?

it's hard not to be upset by this...but because i've had good blood pressure up to this point, i'm trying really hard to remain calm, and composed. but it's frustrating. everytime i go to their house, am i going to be bombarded until the baby comes?

our plan was to not tell anyone what names we picked out were. right now, our plan is to come up with the most ridiculous names we could think of, and tell them that's what we have decided on, just to see what kind of response we get.

sad that's how we have to do it, huh?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I had a wonderful Christmas...and I wasn't sure if i would until yesterday sometime. I was experiencing a lot of holiday stress and was letting it affect me. After talking with a very VERY dear friend, I spent some time praying (during work and after), and realized that Jesus doesn't care. He loves me. He lived and died for my salvation...not so that I can have a clean and organized home, or bake that perfect pie under the most imperfect of conditions, or be completely comfortable in the most uncomfortable conditions.

He came. He lived. He died. He conquered. He rose again.

What perfection!

There's a little girl I'm asking all of you to pray for, Mary Furr. Her mom is Margaret Furr and her blog is: http://margaret-robertslife.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-eve.html

Meanwhile, the spoiling continues! Jacob COMPLETELY spoiled me for Christmas!

I KNEW I was getting a Pampered Chef Deep Covered Dish Baker. And that alone was more than half our budget. But he COMPLETELY surprised me with a jewelry armoire! I have been wanting one since i was probably close to 12. it's about 2.5-3 feet tall, dark colored wood, and is absolutely wonderful! I did not expect that at all! i already put all my jewelry in it, and can't wait to fill it up!

our day was very full, but very relaxed and very enjoyable! i loved having the time to enjoy our family and really enjoyed hanging out with my in laws! i've been awake since 6 AM and it is now 10:30, and knowing i have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow morning (at the latest!), i'm wiped. but it's a good kind of wiped out. :-) I'm content!

a lesson learned...

one lesson i've learned over the years...

careful of what and whom you judge...

We judge others character...

the spiritual fruit we may see in others...

others reactions to various circumstances...

among many other situations...

when i was younger, i judged the men i dated, and wanted to date. i always said i would never date anyone younger than me....

i married a man younger than me...

a friend of mine and i lost contact after graduation. a couple of years later, i got a call from this dear friend, and discovered that in the 2 months previous, she had gotten married, and then discovered she was pregnant.

by this point, i took things from my friends as they told me. I don't know if that's really how it was, or if she was pregnant when she got married. who am i to judge? who am i to really care?

a mutual friend and i were discussing this event. i expressed wanting to get her a gift for the baby, her new husband, etc...

she called this friend of mine a 'whore' and then a liar and said that she was not only pregnant when she got married, but she was hiding that fact by lying to everyone about it.

i said, 'that's my friend. i don't appreciate you talking about her like that. i don't know if it's true or not, but still."

last year, this mutual friend of mine (we're not very close and haven't been since) had a baby with no man in sight.

i want to say "what comes around, goes around," but the more Biblical phrase i would think would be "a man reaps what he sows." or "do not judge, and you will not be judged."

Daddy-to-do list

My wonderful husband!

He likes to surf the web, and read blogs, and keep up to date with some of his favorite pastors.

One of these pastors is Mark Driscoll. He's written several Christian Inspiration books, and I've heard a couple of his sermons on podcasts. He's a very interesting pastor with a very interesting technique. But, he does have a heart for God and for families.

This last week or so, Jacob brought home a Daddy-to-do list for Christmas. I thought it was super special, and wanted to share it with all of you.

You can find this on Mark Driscoll's blog. However, I don't know what the address is, so if you search Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill Church, you should be able to find it....

The bold marks are as they are in his blog, too, by the way. I just want to thank Jacob for bringing this home and showing me. I'm saddened to know that this isn't the way I was brought up, but excited to know that this is the way my children will grow up.

Daddy-to-do List:

"Tis the season for Dad to drop the holiday ball, stress out as the money is being spent for presents, and miss yet another providential opportunity to lovingly lead his family. So, this blog is intended to help dads not fall into the same old rut of holiday humdrum, sitting on the couch watching football and eating carbs, but rather intentionally plan out the upcoming holiday season. Our children grow quickly and if we miss the sacred moments God opens up for us to connect with and bless our families, everyone suffers and we set in motion generations of missed opportunity.

1. Dad needs a plan for the holidays to ensure that his family is loved and memories are made. Dad, what's your plan?
2. Dad needs to check the local guides for what's going on to make fun holiday plans for the family.
3. Dad needs to carve out time for sacred events and experiences to build family traditions that are fun and point to Jesus. Dad, is your calendar ready for December?
4. Dad needs to not let the stress of the holidays, including money, cause him to be grumpy with Mom or the kids. Dad, how's your joy?
5. Dad needs to give experiences and not just gifts. Dad what special memories can you make this holiday season?
6. Dad needs to manage the extended family and friends during the holidays. Dad, who or what do you need to say "no" to?
7. Dad needs to ensure his family is giving generously during the holidays. Dad who in need is your family going to adopt and bless?
8. Dad needs to schedule a big Christmas daddy date with his daughter. Dad, what's your big plan for the fancy daddy date?
9. Dad needs to schedule guy time with his son. Dad, what are you and your son going to do that is active, outdoors, and fun?
10. Dad needs to help Mom get the house decorated. Dad, are you really a big help to Mom with getting things ready?
11. Dad needs to ensure some holiday smells and sound. Dad, is Christmas music on the iPod, is the tree up, and can you smell the cookies and cider in your house?
12. Dad needs to snuggle up and watch some fun shows with the kids, especially the little ones. Dad, is the DVR set?
13. Dad needs to take the family on a drive to see Christmas lights while listening to music and sipping cider. Dad, is it mapped out?
14. Dad needs to help Mom get the kids' rooms decorated. Dad, do the little kids get lights or a small tree in their room?
15. Dad needs to read about Jesus and pray over his kids. Dad, how's your pastoral work going with each of your kids?
16. Dad needs to repent of being lazy, selfish, grumpy, or just dumping the holidays on Mom. Dad, are you a servant like Jesus to your family?