creativity

ok...so, i just want to say thank you to all the people that follow my blog on a semi-regular basis.

and i also want to apologize. i started this blog b/c i really thought i had some creative juices to get flowing and thought, well..if no one sees this, then thats fine. this will be just for me.

but then, people started reading. and commenting. and giving advice. and...other things.

so i started censuring what i wrote. then i stopped writing.

wow. sounds all too familiar. i used to write. a LOT. i have journals from forever ago where i would write stories (short ones...) and where i would just write to write. but time got away from me, and then before i knew it, i was believing the lie that i had nothing worth writing.

even now. i don't have any witty commentary. i'm not a photographer...my camera doesn't even really work, so pics are hard to come by. and time is of the essence. for example. the thought going through my mind right now: laundry. food. food for baby shower. work. when am i going to make food for baby shower between work? baby. baby is sleeping. ::gets up to go check on baby:: he's so cute. can't wait to get his pics back...pics..money...need more money...gotta go to work...work...time with family...work nights...man, i work friday night. how am i going to make this food for the baby shower when i work friday night?!

when do i have time (in my mind) to sit down and write a witty commentary on anything?

[and for my husband who is probably reading this: the above thoughts are only 60 seconds of actual thinking.]

i am who i am. i'm not very creative. if anything, i'm lazy. yep. there it is. i am lazy.