wow

about a year ago, my life changed. it has created probably the worst thing in me. because of family issues i left my house and basically moved out for a time, until jacob and i got engaged.

this "issue" has not been repaired, and probably will never be. i just survive around this person(s) and deal for the time being.

i vowed, when i moved out that my family would never be that way. jacob and i love each other with every fiber of our being, and we work things out. it may not always be pleasant, but we suck it up and do it.

about two months before our wedding, Jacob lost his full-time status at his job. meaning he would be making enough just to be paying the bills for what he had at the time. a month later, still no job, we were getting a bit panicky. 3 weeks before the wedding, God came through and supplied him with a job making at $10,000 more than what we were even hoping for.

six months later- that's been taken away. his last day will be this friday, which ironically he had taken off for vacation time.

God, what are you doing?? all these loops in the last year....i might as well be jumping through fire...if not rolling through it.

i know you will take care of us. even through this uncertainty, it is sooo hard for me to say this: we will trust you.