through adversity....greatness.

i don't typically watch the news; it's usually just too depressing and with all the scrolls going at the top, bottom and behind the news reporter, i can't keep up!

BUT i did hear something disturbing this morning. Secretary Janet Napolitano issued a report with Homeland security making aware of "Right-wing Terrorists." as i researched online, i learned that in a footnote, she described these "Right-wing Terrorists" as people "who oppose abortion and immigration".

The news reporter on TV reported that the footnote read as people who oppose abortion and are against gay marriage.

Jacob informed me that if you are among these "beliefs" (ie: religions that oppose abortion and gay marriage), then you are on a "watch-list."

My family came over to America in the late 1700's to escape very much similar religious persecution. they escaped Germany to the Netherlands, and from there, to America, where we've settled all across the country. we had families, because we cherish life.

we work hard, because we believe if you don't work hard, you don't eat.

we don't accept "hand-outs" because we believe in taking responsibilities for our mistakes.

I have a hard time thinking that there are people out there wouldn't take a baby dog (a puppy) to the SPCA because they know that the dog will be put to sleep if not found a good home. yet, because they choose to be irresponsible by having sex without some sort of birth control (they have IUDs....they last for 5 years. get one.), they punish a potentially great life by ceasing it!

yeah....its all about choice. you chose to have sex. you COULD have chosen not to. but you chose to.

or...if a woman is raped. yes. i see your point. it's a horrible thing that happened. i wouldn't know if i would have the strength in your position, but i would give it some serious thought. and know this: Greatness CAN come from adversity. and if i wouldn't have the strength to carry full term, i know someone who can give me that strength. His name, Jesus.

His mother became pregnant, and it wasn't from a wild night after partying and she wasn't raped. she said, "Ok, Lord, as you say, let it be."

however, she wasn't married. and she was pregnant in a time where if you were caught having sex before marriage, they'd take you out and throw large rocks at your head and body until you stopped breathing, and then they left your body for the birds and animals to consume.

BUT! because she chose to allow God to use her, even through this adversity, greatness came. NOW! ALL because of JESUS, we don't throw rocks at people as a form of justice. we don't have to take a lamb, a ram, or a dove to some random high place and cut it open to sacrifice to God.

We have GRACE....all we have to do is ask Him for it.

Why does he give us grace?

He also faced every adversity that we can imagine! he was whipped with leather bands that has broken pieces of clay stuck in it so that when it wrapped around his body, it would grab pieces of skin and rip it off.

then, he had his head stuck inside a rosebush.....

then he had stakes hammered into each of his hands....and not at the same time, but one done at a time. first his right hand, then his left hand, then....they forced his feet on top of each other and ran a stake into both of his feet, right through the bones.

and on his mind......

was you.

not the pain of the torture.

or the pain of seeing his friends deny knowing him....

or the pain of seeing his friends run away.

or the pain of having God turn his back on him, as he took on ALL the sins of the world.

"MY GOD! MY GOD! WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME?!?!"

through this adversity, GREATNESS came. He suffered in Hell for three days! AWAY from his Father!

at his death, the earth shook and the curtain at the temple tore. the prophets rose from the grave. many were seen walking around.

i can't imagine looking beside me and seeing Jeremiah and Isaiah. or Ezekial. or Abraham. I would have so many questions to ask them.

It's all because of this, i have hope, i have a reason to live, and i'm also on a watch list for my country....the LAND OF THE FREE....because i cherish life? because i would rather keep the dog at my house, AND carry a baby to full term?

or because i believe in working hard? and RIGHTFULLY paying taxes???

or because i believe in the promises MY GOD has given me???

or is it because i believe in taking responsibility for my actions???

word creations

so...

maybe there's a word out there for the SELECT few people who write people off for their "political affiliations..."

such as this PATHETIC status update i saw on facebook:

"[so and so] thinks torturers and those telling them to torture should be punished."

This in and of itself is not bothersome...as i am not necessarily "pro-torture".

However....one of their "friends" who is also a local politician who runs primarily for the democratic party (and despite that i DID actually vote for him) left a comment stating:

"force them to listen to a half hour of Glen Beck (a republican show host- TV and radio). oh wait! they probably already do. nevermind."

This insinuates that the torturers are republican.

first of all, coming from someone who has tried to get into politics...i'm GLAD this man didn't win.

NANANANABOO BOO!

secondly, i just want to call out RACIST!

now....i know it's not about race.

but what do you call it when people are judging you based on your political affiliations and wrongfully so?

any takers???

update from last blog

Thank you everyone for the encouragement!

I want to update from what i last said in my blog the other day...

the truth is, I love our church. it's small, and it has its faults, but it is a home for us right now.

the truth is I am very insecure! and every sunday, i push my insecurity down and "suck it up and get it over with"!

and sometimes in the middle of the week, my insecurity catches up to me, and i just...."blow up."

not ideal, but that's just how i am.

i apologize for what i said, and how i said it, and if you were made uncomfortable or upset, i apologize.

i really am fine, and i really do love our body and the people there.

i AM struggling to fit in, but that's more my fault as anyone elses!

simple irritations.

okay...

it's no news that i've been struggling at fitting in at our current church. it would be SO much easier for me to go to cornerstone, b/c i don't have to struggle. i have my friends there.

But at this church, there is NO ONE there the same age as me. i don't fit in with the young adults anymore.

i don't even fit in with the people who are closest in age to me. they typically have young children. and are all around in a different place in every aspect of their lives. and that's okay!

and yet, i try. i try to fit in with the people who i "should" be fitting in with.

and i'm done. i'm done trying. there's no reason for me to try. i'm the only one doing anything. so...have a nice life.