okay...
so, Feb. 15th, at 5 pm. Dinner and a movie!
tickets are $5 for adults 12+, $2.50 for children 3-12, and children 3 and under are FREE!
door prizes are a coming!
i was thinking earlier today.
i have such a strong battle with self doubt. it is literally crippling. i have run away from ministry opportunities just because of it. i have run away from job opportunities because of it. i have run away from relationships because of it. i run away from just about everything because of the elephant sitting on my chest. i can't breathe. i can't move, unless it's away. i can't even think.
yet, God brought me to this church, and even though i know i'm having a hard time, i know that it is He who brought me here. i may not understand what or why, but that's okay. i'm willing to be used and to learn without knowing those. it's unconditional.
yet, i think i got a glimpse earlier today:
Kathie, Pastor Tony's wife, has really stepped up beside me and helped me with this dinner. even when people were telling me that it couldn't happen because of time, she really stepped up and said, "we're doing this, and Jodi is heading it up." she's helped me and (more importantly) encouraged me.
i really feel like a baby when it comes to something like this. i've NEVER done anything at this multitude, and so i kinda feel like i need someone to hold my hand through this. i need lots of encouragement. if i for a second feel like i can't do it, in another second the elephant will be back where it was before: sitting on my chest, unwilling to move.
yes, i have had doubts about this. but i've only been encouraged to push through. even if only 10 couples show up; that's 10 couples that wouldn't have come otherwise. i'll be happy with that. if 50 couples show up, that's 50 more that i can give praise for!
This isn't me. this has never been about me. this is all for Jesus. if i'm used in the process, GREAT! if i'm pushed around in the process, i'll learn! as long as i can just believe in myself, i'll have succeeded.
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2 comments:
You are doing a good job! Keep it up. Part of me wishes I could help more, but the other part of me sees that you have it under control and I am needed elsewhere! That's my learning curve. I am learning to STEP BACK and not have my hands in so many things. We're all learning and the most important thing is that we give Him room to move and give Him glory for anything GOOD that comes forth.
During worship, I was thinking you and I should have another heart to heart soon. The self doubt thing is a HUGE struggle for me, mine actually leaks over into self hatred quite often. How in the world will I effectively "love others as I love myself." Ouch. My bigger motivation to love myself is now so that I can learn how to love OTHERS...I have a LOOOOONG way to go.
Love you!
WTG Jodi, you're doing a great job! I'm so glad you're a part of this church.
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