i find that when i think, i get into trouble. i think about all the bad stuff. i think about how to deal with it. i then become disgruntled with my life and situations.
not that thinking is bad, mind you. it's good! but i don't just think...i DWELL.
and for some reason, my brain is practically made to dwell on the bad stuff....
like, for example:
my job. i'm 3 months pregnant, and i got to work every day and put on an apron. i was REALLY hoping to be at a different job by the time i got pregnant, but, that didn't happen. i really don't want to be 4 months pregnant and working in the cafe, but it's looking like i'm not goign to have much of a choice.
my home. i really would love to be able to paint my baby's nursery, but our landlord doesn't want us to hang pictures, let alone, PAINT.
my husband. i LOVE him. i really do! i have the utmost respect for him. he provides for me and our child, and he loves us unconditionally. yet, the one thing i think about is not that he loves us, or that he's faithful to me and to God, or not even all the hard work he does around the house. what i think about: why can't he do the dishes? it's the ONE thing i have asked him to help me out with. and with my back pain, the LAST thing i want to do is work 8.5 hours, all day on my feet, come home, make dinner, and then have to wash and dry all the dishes...
i don't want our child brought into a home where i am constantly down, or always putting my husband down, or having nothing but negative thoughts.
Lord, transform my mind to be more like you. Filter my thoughts so that they glorify You and Your creation. Transform my thinking!
earlier i mentioned back pain. i don't know why, or if it's even pregnancy related, but i have had the WORST back pain in my lower right side. i can't explain it...but i can't move when it's hurting....i tried calling the doctors office last friday, but they were closed a half hour early. oh well....this will be the last time i use their services! :o)
About Me
- Jodi
- My husband and I just celebrated our one year anniversary, and soon afterwards found out we're expecting a baby! Matthew Levi was born March 29, 2010, weighing 6 pounds and 15 ounces and 19.5 inches long! I strive to be real. I don't like the idea of putting up a facade to get through a day. But being real...comes with the good and the bad. If you can't take one, you can't take the other. They are both a big part of life.
3 comments:
Are you switching docs? OB/GYN, or regular? I'd call someone though, just in case. :-P
Oh, and I know the feeling about thinking the negatives--the negatives are what worry us and so of course we think of them most!
Are you sure that the landlord can legally tell you that you cant paint or put holes in the walls? I would check into that. It seems like it should be a renters right to at least hang pics.
yeah...he highly suggested no painting (which is fine), but in our contract it says we can only use a few nails per room, and that they have to be "approved by the landlord" before we use the nails...
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